I experienced my last “rock bottom” surrounding that lack of career-focused purpose in 2015. I felt fully stagnant – I had no where to direct the extreme passion or creative energy that was about to implode within. That night, my husband appeared with a whiteboard and marker in his hands and told me it was time to let go of all external beliefs, all societal pressures, and go after whatever it was that I wanted.
During that night with the whiteboard, we brainstormed what I loved was obsessed with (at age 25) with no judgement:
• popcorn
• cats
• Walt Disney’s imaginative creativity
It was so simple (too simple?), and a little anti-climatic, but I rolled with it. These all happened to be things that consumed my life as a child, as my best friend growing up was my black cat Larry; I was always stealing my sister’s popcorn on family movie night (where we’d watch a Disney movie 95% of the time); and I was always engrossed in my own imagination, journaling my emotions or producing stories and songs on little construction paper booklets.
On that fateful whiteboard night, my first small business – a handcrafted popcorn(✔️) company – The Popcorn Bar, was born. I truly believe the depths of my soul was meant for entrepreneurship all along – as many highly sensitive people are – due to the level of passion and self-motivation HSP’s exude when they are in an environment that is both supportive and meaningful. But at this time I was not quite ready. Though this company I created attracted a great deal of positive interest in a fairly short time, the universe wanted to equip me with some very specific tools and lessons before launching me into the world as a heart-driven business woman. As my heart was not madly passionate about running a food based company (the creativity behind the marketing was my favourite part of all), I quite literally stumbled upon a job posting at meowbox – an ecommerce start-up (turned success story) – a subscription box for cats. Check✔️. The founder was so excited about my Popcorn Bar stint, a major factor in hiring me. There, I learned a wealth of knowledge on running and scaling a business, social media marketing, customer service, event planning, creative writing, website building, product management, working directly with cat toy designers (oddly, so many similarities to working with an illustrator), shipping and logistics, sourcing materials, and writing personalized messages with jiffy markers (not unlike the book signings I just did). I finally felt comfortable enough to get curious and really learn. This experience was crucial to finding my footing as a self published children’s book author. For the first time, I was not just able to show up for work – I was in love with my job! I thought I would work there for the rest of my life.
As I’ve said many times before, becoming a mother will change you…and, is what inspired me to go all in on my imagination (✔️). However, the fact that I decided to leave my beloved job – after everything I had been through to get there – and, when life was flowing at a great pace, seemed to make that move so much more powerful. You don’t have to wait for things to get bad to go after something better. I seemingly had it all, and decided to go for more – and now I know why: when your heart soars, you elevate the ability to give back to your loved ones, your community, and yourself.
There is no way I would currently be a published author if I had suppressed my big feelings. Finally feeling free in authentic expression and creation elevated my self worth and quickly drew in success on multiple levels. Looking back, there were many little “winks” or synchronicities along the way, and each deep struggle and emotional reaction seemed to be guiding me on a very specific, resourceful, path that feels tailored to my heart.