Pre-Book Launch Feels

In July, I committed unnervingly, to in-person book launch events. I spent the month of August almost paralyzed, sitting in pure discomfort that I had done so. Come September, I watched my child gracefully handle the rocky transition to kindergarten and coexist with nerves daily, all while never holding back from his authentic self expression. I told him I needed help and asked him, how do you do something that makes you feel SO nervous? His response: “Well…just go for it”. I took a quick moment to grieve predictable, stable, quiet days and chose to embrace the book launch and the emotional extension of it. I became mindful of slowing down my actions and thoughts. And anytime I backtracked, I quickly made the conscious choice to choose again. And again. (This is the essence of the Choose Again Method by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and the foundation behind rewiring your brain).

Due to those big feels, I was a little behind on the logistical to-dos of the book launch weekend + online launch day. Managing this while organizing a 5th birthday party, working on a website (with a lot of help from the best in the biz!), and entering the era of elementary school for the first time, truly broke me down as a highly sensitive human. I think once motherhood begins – there is no answer to a balanced life, and when you’re in the thick of a heightened ebb, the flow is simply far out of reach until it’s not. I started thinking back to all of the HSP-specific tools I acquired from self-development, I began to let go, and very quickly an abundance of intuitive signs started showing up in my life. This allowed me to remember not only am I on the right path, but the human experience is meant to be so much more than peaceful. Yes, it’s okay to be uncomfortable. Yes, the level of discomfort that HSPs experience is intensified. But thanks to my experiences birthing humans and the electrifying newborn phase, I found the ability to trust in this being a passing season and not an eternal fate.

At the end of September, the mental hurdles I had of showing up to book launches were (almost) fully replaced with logistical hurdles. I think this was a good lesson in showing me it was not necessary for those (monster-sized) original nerves to occupy so much space. With one week to go, I sent out books to influencers, got slapped in the face with unexpected shipping logistics (burst into tears at the front counter…POP!), attempted to understand the backend of Amazon and Ingram Sparks(🥵) , tested out my Shopify shop, made multiple last minute price adjustments, hustled to meet signage-printer deadlines, wrote newsletters, blogs, (tried to be a mom *hello mom-guilt*!), and somewhat casually waited on a shipment of hundreds of hardcover copies that was 10 days late and unable to be located (though I did have a few copies on hand). The quality of these copies in that shipment is exquisite and – selling and promoting those would best support me directly – so I was SO hopeful that they’d show up. And they did! With four days to spare.

In the few moments of spare time I had, I would wonder…Is this the time or the place for a book launch about emotional snacks? The world is burning. As an HSP, global tragedies used to debilitate me in a pit of despair and keep me from functioning in my own life. But the answer to my own question was always yes. Not only does the world need more softness and sensitivity, I know now that I am able to consciously and effectively do my part when I lead with my heart.

In sum: this launch lead-up was very cool, exciting, and far more draining than I could have imagined.