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Post-Book Launch Feels & Comfort Zone Controversy

Children's Book Author, Sarita Fichtner, reads her book "Pop Out Loud, First Day of School" aloud at a local story time at Gather Bookshop in Squamish, British Columbia

“Pop Out Loud” has now been out in the real world for over one month! I am a children’s book author🥳! Pinch me. Over the launch weekend, I experienced magical highly sensitive highs of my loved ones coming together to celebrate, selling more books than I anticipated in a three day period, and reaching a number one best seller rank on Amazon! While I am still physically bursting with gratitude, ironically, this was a period in time where my own mental health, physical health and sensitivity were forced to take a backseat.

Two days before that launch began, there was a glitch on my Amazon book account, causing the listing to be in jeopardy. Due to exhaustion, I let this get the best of me emotionally, and it did take away from me fully committing to celebratory-mode over the weekend. Two days later – on Saturday – my parents hosted a beautiful celebration filled with family and friends – and I secretly wished it ended there. On Sunday, I held a storytime at our picturesque local, independent bookshop. While the bookstore was simply filled with a small, loving group of humans, the entire scenario ate me alive! No matter what tools I tried to tap into, I wasn’t able to ground myself enough to feel present or confident (or stable for that matter). And honestly, it feels good to say that out loud as opposed to sugar coating it. After a tastefully emotional reading, I didn’t walk away feeling proud…just rattled and tired. Come Monday, my book and website launched online – definitely in my zone of creativity and comfort – but I was almost too exhausted from the aforementioned to soak it in! Still, I really couldn’t have been more grateful for every single human who showed up for me and my very first book.

This has been a good reminder that juxtaposing feelings can coexist at once – such as feeling immense gratitude and success, as well as burnout and instability. However, I’ve reached a point in my life where I believe nothing is worth compromising my mental health, physical health and sensitivity (unless for the sake of my children’s wellbeing). It took me four weeks to realize that I chose to push my own wellbeing aside because I thought stepping outside of my comfort zone was a key part in launching a book and claiming this next expansive chapter of life. It’s frustrating as I write this out because if you listen to my podcast on Good in Motion, I passionately discuss exactly how HSPs grow and thrive best within their comfort zones – while expanding them – as opposed to stepping outside of them. This western world is not designed for highly sensitive people. Therefore, HSPs spend the majority of their days stepping (being thrown) far out of our comfort zones multiple times a day within a range of settings from grocery stores and workplaces to driving in the city or turning on the news. One crystal clear example – an eleventh grade highschool memory – a teacher continuously calling on me with intense energy, to answer his questions on the spot in front of 50 students (cue flashbacks to “Large Group”). This would create so much panic and stress within me, not only would I freeze, I would leave feeling attacked, with a hatred for the class and in turn its subject matter.

As a highly sensitive person, when I am comfy, I can get curious, confident and inspired. When I am comfortable, I can tune out what doesn’t matter and my energy invites an inward expansion. Interestingly enough, I sold the most books within the spaces that felt most comfortable to me. So why did I plan such a non-HSP friendly launch weekend? Partly because I didn’t realize how consuming the last minute rush behind the scenes would be! But largely because I felt like I was supposed to, by society’s standards (something I thought I was too aware of to be swayed by!). I remember speaking with a fellow author-to-be. She was gearing up to launch her novel. I asked if she was doing any launch events, and she said no – she was highly sensitive and confident in her plan to spend a day at the ocean while her book launched online. I was so jealous (an emotion you don’t typically experience when you’re consciously creating your own reality). I have begun to realize: while I have very much found myself in this journey – more so than ever before – a part of me had been seeking out society’s definition of success. While it has taken a month to recover from birthing this book baby, I have found myself overwhelmed with gratitude for the support I received at my book launch and every day since. And, I am equally as grateful to be in a place where I can examine everything from a rested, clear perspective and remember exactly why I set out to do this in the first place: to design a life on my terms, as highly sensitive person. I look forward to investing in the success of this book by honouring my sensitivity and seeing how far that will take me.

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Pre-Book Launch Feels

In July, I committed unnervingly, to in-person book launch events. I spent the month of August almost paralyzed, sitting in pure discomfort that I had done so. Come September, I watched my child gracefully handle the rocky transition to kindergarten and coexist with nerves daily, all while never holding back from his authentic self expression. I told him I needed help and asked him, how do you do something that makes you feel SO nervous? His response: “Well…just go for it”. I took a quick moment to grieve predictable, stable, quiet days and chose to embrace the book launch and the emotional extension of it. I became mindful of slowing down my actions and thoughts. And anytime I backtracked, I quickly made the conscious choice to choose again. And again. (This is the essence of the Choose Again Method by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and the foundation behind rewiring your brain).

Due to those big feels, I was a little behind on the logistical to-dos of the book launch weekend + online launch day. Managing this while organizing a 5th birthday party, working on a website (with a lot of help from the best in the biz!), and entering the era of elementary school for the first time, truly broke me down as a highly sensitive human. I think once motherhood begins – there is no answer to a balanced life, and when you’re in the thick of a heightened ebb, the flow is simply far out of reach until it’s not. I started thinking back to all of the HSP-specific tools I acquired from self-development, I began to let go, and very quickly an abundance of intuitive signs started showing up in my life. This allowed me to remember not only am I on the right path, but the human experience is meant to be so much more than peaceful. Yes, it’s okay to be uncomfortable. Yes, the level of discomfort that HSPs experience is intensified. But thanks to my experiences birthing humans and the electrifying newborn phase, I found the ability to trust in this being a passing season and not an eternal fate.

At the end of September, the mental hurdles I had of showing up to book launches were (almost) fully replaced with logistical hurdles. I think this was a good lesson in showing me it was not necessary for those (monster-sized) original nerves to occupy so much space. With one week to go, I sent out books to influencers, got slapped in the face with unexpected shipping logistics (burst into tears at the front counter…POP!), attempted to understand the backend of Amazon and Ingram Sparks(🥵) , tested out my Shopify shop, made multiple last minute price adjustments, hustled to meet signage-printer deadlines, wrote newsletters, blogs, (tried to be a mom *hello mom-guilt*!), and somewhat casually waited on a shipment of hundreds of hardcover copies that was 10 days late and unable to be located (though I did have a few copies on hand). The quality of these copies in that shipment is exquisite and – selling and promoting those would best support me directly – so I was SO hopeful that they’d show up. And they did! With four days to spare.

In the few moments of spare time I had, I would wonder…Is this the time or the place for a book launch about emotional snacks? The world is burning. As an HSP, global tragedies used to debilitate me in a pit of despair and keep me from functioning in my own life. But the answer to my own question was always yes. Not only does the world need more softness and sensitivity, I know now that I am able to consciously and effectively do my part when I lead with my heart.

In sum: this launch lead-up was very cool, exciting, and far more draining than I could have imagined.

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Meet My Illustrator!

There are so many incredible artists in the world that are all instantly accessible thanks to social media. However, the thought of sifting through an entire planet’s worth of illustrators was daunting to me. There are so many factors to consider: style, timeline, cost, professionalism and reliability, working approach, that overall necessary *vibe*, etc. That’s why I am extraordinarily grateful that my illustrator, Aline Monjardim (Ah-Lee-Nie//also goes by Ah-Leen), who also identifies as a highly sensitive creative, was introduced to me through my team at The Self Publishing Agency. We have been working closely since September 1st, 2023, and after a few in-depth, creative discussions, Aline began interpreting my thoughts of the four main characters of Pop Out Loud into visuals.  In mid-November, Aline presented the first drafts of these characters to me and in turn I sent her detailed notes on which parts matched my vision and what needed tweaking. When I received the first round of edits, I popped right out of my seat – it was clear that the characters of my book had officially been birthed!

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Jimmy, the star of Pop Out Loud, along with his appetizing crew!  Jimmy is a sensitive kernel, whose emotions and thought process are often deeper than those around him, in seemingly “normal” settings.  He pops into a popcorn when he experiences these big feelings.  

Pictured below are the official sketches of the most prominent characters in my book.  

Throughout each creative meeting, Aline and I went far beyond the pages and deep through the backstory, emotions and hopes of each character and feature elements through every picture spread.

Q&A with Aline!

S: What is your favourite food?

A: My favourite food is rice and beans, as is traditional in my country of Brazil . My favourite snack though would have to be popcorn!—I’m not even kidding.

S: What (or who) inspires your personal style?

A: Storytelling is at the epicenter of my inspiration. When I hear a story no matter in which context, I can’t help but start picturing the characters in my mind—their emotions, actions, message. It’s just a very rich image that pops into my head! Other than that, I also find inspiration in nature, art, design, illustration, and animation! (I’m obsessed with Pixar animation movies!)

S: What is your favourite part about this project, Pop Out Loud?

A: My favourite part is to collaborate with Sarita and the TSPA team in what will be my debut picture book. There is a lot of care and meaning being put into this work, and I feel so thankful for the opportunity to bring such a relatable story to life in the hopes it will help a generation of kids out there who feel deeply like I also do. It just feels like the right team!

S: Are there any challenges that come with this project?

A: To me in particular, the main challenge is to give life to personified snack-themed characters. Finger foods are delicious but without obvious human-like features, we need to get creative. That also happens to be the most exciting part for me, because as an adventurer I love challenges.

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